MLB Spring Training
There might be snow on the ground here in Kansas, but in far away places like Florida and Arizona, where the sun washes over your eyes like Visine, MLB pitchers and catchers are reporting for Spring Training. After a refreshing World Series, between the Giants and Rangers ended three-and-a-half months ago, I'm ready for some baseball. The promise of a new year and the hope that I can catch some Royals games with my father is the reason baseball is my favorite sport that starts with a "b" and ends with a "ball". My father and I have one sports team that we favor in common, the Royals, the gonna-be-dreadful-Kansas City Royals. Spring Training will now bond us after the winter's hibernation and give us so much more to talk about, debate about and care together about. Yes, Spring Training is the best. Because right now the Royals are in a first place tie in the division with Minnesota, Detroit, Chicago and Cleveland. A hundred losses look about as far away as the Cactus League sun.
Chipotle Fajita Burrito
I'm on a diet, no wait take that back, I'm in the middle of a "lifestyle" change. I have developed a bit of an eating disorder over the last, say, two plus decades and need to change my intake habits pronto. I need to lose weight. I need to lower my blood pressure. I need to become more physically fit. I need to be able to see my penis while standing...ok that last one isn't necessary, but, it would be cool. So I need to do all these things and make all these choices that run against the current of the culture I've created for myself. My problem is that there's this dude named Steve Ellis and in 1993 he opened the very first Chipotle in Denver, Colorado and created the greatest fast food (that doesn't taste fast) restaurant in the world. I think he borrowed like a thousand bucks from his pops to get it started. The only money I borrowed from my folks to get anything started was for a 1987 Honda Civic. Now, there's nobody holding a gun to my head and making me eat the 890 calorie (yikes!) steak fajita burrito, but if my doctor asks, I'm saying you carjacked me on a daily basis and forced me to inhale the four ponds of perfection or die. You got my back right?
RIM Blackberry 7290 PDA
This phone was released in 2004. I did not purchase my 7290 until 2009, used, on ebay. It is now 2011 and in smart phone years that means the 7290 is a dinosaur. It has no camera. It is unable to receive or send a MMS message. The screen looks like Fisher Price's "My First Cell Phone" and the only thing that makes it a touch screen is if you touch it to clean it. Browsing the internet on this beast is like dial up. Only slower. The battery life is (seems like) half of what current phones have. I can barely hear people due to signal strength and I think people have a hard time hearing me. Oh, and it's huge, like Speak & Spell huge. The plus side is that due to the lack of extra's, the phone is pretty light weight. Score! I have owned eight, yes eight, different Blackberry models and I just recently went back to this fantastic mobile device because I don't know anyone else that would be caught dead using this thing. That's what makes it cool to me. In 2004 this thing was like $500.00 and bad ass! Now the 7290 is drinking Geritol, going to bed at six o'clock in the evening and complaining about the government. While all these Android phones are partying, pulling all nighters and raw dogging randoms. Well screw you new, more convenient and state-of-the-art smart phones! Give me my 7290. But, be sure I've got my charger, because after two phone calls it will need a nap.
1 comment:
See when you think about it the Chipotle burritto thing is evil and thus a pawn of Satan. Therefore all is needed is to say get away from me satan and you will be okay.
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