The 25 Greatest G.I. Joe Action Figures

#25 Cobra Commander (Hood)

Was this Cobra Commander's leisure attire? This outfit is gay and not real conducive to ruling the world. Also, does the commander look a little bloated in this get-up?

#24 Serpentor

This guy was terrible. He had a little flying thing you could stand him on that looked like a Hover Round. This is the cheese dick that wanted to take over the Cobra Forces and defeat G.I. Joe? What a joke.

#23 Snow Job

This douschebag was great if you lived in Colorado, but if you don't get a lot of snow where you live, playing with this guy is a waste of time. He looked cool and all but he would've fit in better on the snowy Hoth planet from Empire Strikes Back.

#22 Buzzer

This guy came with with multiple ways to jack you up. He had a chainsaw and a gas can. Awesome!

#21 Red Ninja
The only reason Red Ninja is on here is because he's a ninja. Otherwise, he sucked. I mean I love ninjas but the Hasbro people didn't even bother giving this guy a name. Storm Shadow used to bitch slap this guy all the time.

#20 Cobra Officer

If you had a full G.I. Joe action figure collection to do battle with the kid's collection next door you had to have at least two or three of these dudes.

#19 Air Trooper

I never really understood why this guy was an "Air Trooper", he didn't have parachute and he didn't fly ish. All he did was toast people with his fire equipment.

#18 Sgt. Flash

This tool had a funky looking gun and must've also played catcher on the G.I. Joe co-ed softball team.

#17 Crimson Guard

The tv show made the Crimson Guard guys just a step above inept but I always liked these dudes. They were the elite Cobra troops, so I guess most of them had special training or college or something.

#16 Cobra Trooper

This is the basic Cobra foot soldier/bullet stopper. If Cobra were to invade Iraq these guys would go in first. I had like ten of these and pummeled all of them relentlessly.

#15 Stalker

This guy was one of the few Green Berets that were a part of the G.I. Joe fighting unit. What made Stalker a cut above the rest is that he went to battle wearing pajamas.

#14 Tunnel Rat

This cat was one of my favorites. I made him do all kinds of covert ish. He was fun to play with.

#13 Firefly

This was the Cobra covert guy I used. I wished his camo were a little darker but other than that he was great.

#12 Shipwreck

When I used to make my G.I. Joes fight one another I had Ship Wreck beat about everyone but the ninjas' asses. The bird had to go though.

#11 Zartan

As an action figure Zartan was a joke. The only reason why he's so high on the list is because he could change colors. Now that's technology.

#10 Flint

The Green Beret that didn't wear pajamas. I think Flint was second in command behind Duke. I also believe Flint was banging Scarlett.

#9 Road Block

This brother was a bad ass and had the largest gun ever. Rambo ain't got nothin' on Road Block.

#8 Duke

Duke was the man. He was a pimp on the cartoon and all the kids thought he was the best. I liked him better on tv than in real life, but he was still sweet.

#7 Cobra Commander (Helmet)

Now this is the real Cobra Commander. When he's rocking the helmet you know he means business. Also, like the KC Royals, he looks better in the powder blue gear.

#6 Destro

You wanna talk about a bad ass? This is your bad ass! Destro was Darth Vader and Clubber Lang all rolled into one. The guy had a metal face. A metal face! If Cobra Commander was George Bush, then Destro was Dick Chaney. Destro was the real evil one.

#5 Gung Ho

Gung Ho was awesome for three reasons. One, he had a huge Marine Core tattoo on his chest. Two, you could see the tat because he wore only a vest and three, because he used a grenade launcher as a gun. Enough said.

#4 Storm Shadow (2nd Version)

This version of the super ninja and Snake Eyes brother Storm Shadow is what he wore when he punked out of Cobra. I never wanted Storm Shadow to be a good guy. He's like Randy Moss going to the Patriots. G.I. Joe already had a great team then they go and get Cobra's baddest dude? Not fair.

#3 Snake Eyes

This is my favorite G.I. Joe (good guy) ever. The cartoon and comic book made this mug out to be a living legend. He was a ninja, commando, special ops guy, spy, cook, hell you name it he could do it all. Plus, he was blind and mute so he had to use all of his senses.

#2 Storm Shadow (Original)

This my favorite G.I. Joe (bad guy) ever. He would later become a good guy and join his brother Snake Eyes with the Joes, but when he became my man was when he was messing people up for Cobra. Storm Shadow made me want to become a ninja. As a kid I had karate outfit that I drew the Cobra logo on to look like this champion with a red magic marker.

#1 Snake Eyes (w/Kick Ass Dog)
The dog puts it over the top.